Some days

Some days I can’t get out of bed.
I feel like a ghost.
Like I can’t touch anything, and everything is moving around me.
Like everyone understands something I can’t figure out.

I wonder: is this what everyone feels?
I wonder: will this ever pass?

On these days, I can’t handle my vulnerability.
I want to carve myself from rock.
I want to hide forever, in my room, in a cupboard, in a cave.
No one will look at me; nothing will affect me.

No one knows this about me, because I smile a lot and my laugh is loud. I wonder if anyone realises this is my way of hiding.

I am writing this blog because I want to learn to hope again.
I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but you’re welcome to join me.